For good.

18 07 2010

I used this song from Wicked to describe the difference my family has made in my life.

Today I was reminded that I need to treat others in such a way that they feel this about knowing me.

I haven’t always done a great job of this.

I’m sorry.

I’m not perfect. I’m trying to do better.

“Just look at me – Im limited
And just look at you
You can do all I couldn’t do, Glinda
So now it’s up to you
For both of us – now it’s up to you…

(Glinda):
I’ve heard it said
That people come into our lives for a reason
Bringing something we must learn
And we are led
To those who help us most to grow
If we let them
And we help them in return
Well, I don’t know if I believe that’s true
But I know I’m who I am today
Because I knew you…

Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
It well may be
That we will never meet again
In this lifetime
So let me say before we part
So much of me
Is made of what I learned from you
You’ll be with me
Like a handprint on my heart
And now whatever way our stories end
I know you have re-written mine
By being my friend…

Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a skybird
In a distant wood
Who can say if I’ve been changed for the better?
But because I knew you

(Glinda):
Because I knew you

(Both):
I have been changed for good

(Elphaba):
And just to clear the air
I ask forgiveness
For the things I’ve done you blame me for

(Glinda):
But then, I guess we know
There’s blame to share

(Both):
And none of it seems to matter anymore

(Glinda):
Like a comet pulled from orbit
As it passes a sun
Like a stream that meets a boulder
Halfway through the wood

(Elphaba):
Like a ship blown from its mooring
By a wind off the sea
Like a seed dropped by a bird in the wood

(Both):
Who can say if I’ve been
Changed for the better?
I do believe I have been
Changed for the better

(Glinda):
And because I knew you…

(Elphaba):
Because I knew you…

(Both):
Because I knew you…
I have been changed for good…”

“… they should love one another…” (Moses 7:33)

? Are you living in such a way that others can say you have touched their life for good? (you don’t have to answer on here)





the game.

18 06 2010

Last night was practice night. Terry hurt his back so we couldn’t use his studio in West Valley. Instead, it was just Johnny Ahn and I – and we met up at the Gold’s Gym here in orem.

Johnny mentioned he started watching this series of dating videos done by David Deangelo called “Double your Dating.”

That led to a long conversation about dating. Several years ago when I was out managing a sales office in Las Vegas a few of us picked up a couple books about dating. One of them was called, “The Game.”

The book consists of one mans journey through a society of pick-up artists. He shares stories of his exploits as well as advice on how to generate similar results in your own life.

We read the book, applied the principles and had a very successful semester when we got back to BYU in the fall.

One of the most interesting things the book mentions is that girls are not initially attracted to the “nice guy“.

Nice guy
Opens doors
Takes out on dates
Is overly polite
Frequently compliments
Appears very interested
Tries to qualify himself to the girl

Instead – many girls are attracted to the “bad guy”.

Bad guy
Teases
Invites the girl over to his place
Offers backhanded compliments
Appears indifferent
Makes the girl qualify herself to him

Feel free to agree or disagree with this till you are blue in the face. You might not be the typical girl. But the fact of the matter is that this worked like gangbusters for us. (And saved us all a TON of money-since we weren’t going on dates)

Not every girl is like this, I know. But EVEN here at BYU it seems like a huge number of girls are.

Here is the key though – knowing this puts you in a position to manipulate, so you need to approach dating with the right mindset. If you know what initially attracts girls then you need to use that only because you are in the pursuit of finding someone to marry. (Not to just hook up with lots of girls)

And the other thing to remember is that girls want the nice guy once in the relationship. So the real key is to be able to pull off both images…

Initially you appear indifferent as to whether you’re interested in her. You don’t pay her too much attention and when you talk, you make her feel like she has to qualify herself to you. Once you’ve established that initial attraction you can begin to slowly bring out the nice guy (because that’s what she ultimately wants anyways – just not from the beginning)

It was really fun talking with Johnny about me and the guys’ experiences with the whole dating thing. And it was interesting comparing these techniques against what you learn about dating in the Church. They don’t exactly mesh well. So, maybe the way we all approached dating for awhile wasn’t the best way.

Who knows?

“…learned in all the arts and cunning of the people; and this was to enable them that they might be skilful in their profession.” (Alma 10:15)

? What do you think about the initial approach to dating?





balancing act.

4 06 2010

How much time do you get to spend with your spouse/significant other?

I don’t get very much.
I’m wondering if that’s just something every couple deals with or if we are some kind of anomaly?

I imagine most couples struggle to figure out how to match their schedules up so they can spend time together.

Is there ever a time where you just have to say, enough is enough, I need to cut some stuff out of my life so that i can spend more time with the person I love?

My schedule is bizarre and Leah’s schedule isn’t much better. The only time we seem to be able to match things up is between 10 pm and midnight or on Sunday.
It sucks.

And it’s starting to take a toll on the relationship.
I just feel like we don’t get to talk as much as we used to and despite living 5 miles apart we don’t see each other very often either.

I’ve always been taught that the phrase “I don’t have enough time” is an excuse (and not a very good one).
If it is a priority then you will MAKE the time, right?

I love her more than anything.

But it’s that love that pushes me to take on extra work so that I can be as prepared as possible for marriage (financially speaking).

How do you balance that?

It seems like this is one of those; good, better, best situations, right?

“…and behold, there is one thing which is of more importance than they all…” (Alma 7:7)

The scripture is talking about the coming of the Savior – but there are some things in life more important than others.

I imagine it is a case of each couple doing what is best for them – and Leah and I will have to figure something out for ourselves.

BUT – I’m definitely interested in hearing how you find the time in your busy schedules to spend quality time with your loved one.

?How do you balance work, church, life and spending time with your spouse/boyfriend/girlfriend?





sarcasm.

16 05 2010

“A most damaging form of humor is sarcasm, or cutting, hostile, or contemptuous remarks.” (Peter B. Rawlins, “A Serious Look at Humor,” New Era, Aug 1974, 48)

“cease from all … light speeches, from all laughter … and light-mindedness…” (D&C 88:121)

I have never really been a fighter. Ever.
In fact the only time I have been punched happened a few months ago and came from my younger sister. (she clocked me pretty good in the face)

I have a quick tongue though. Mostly it is used for good – but there are times I have been caught up in comments I am ashamed of.

Middle school was a battlefield at times for me. I was small (like really small) – it’s middle school and pretty much anyone who does not look normal is preyed upon. (Circle of life, right?) Well, it was in middle school that I began to develop my quick ‘wit’ (if it can be called wit).

I learned quickly. I learned that if you spoke the right words you could alter any situation. I never needed to fight because I learned I could do much more damage with words.

I feel bad because I know at times I have used words to pick on others as a defensive mechanism to avoid being picked on and to establish myself as someone to not be picked on. I hurt others because of it. I can’t change what is done, but if I ever said something sarcastic or cutting to you – I am sorry. Incredibly sorry.

It’s been 13 years since I was in middle school and I’m not being picked on anymore.

The guys and I share a very ‘sarcastic‘ form of humor. We constantly tease and rib each other all in good fun. I have only gotten quicker on my feet because of them. I feel like I owe them for helping me become confident enough to handle any social situation I’m placed in.

However – the intense sarcastic humor comes with a price. I have not yet learned fully how to keep my mouth shut at times. And sometimes when I am backed into a corner or feel like I need to be defensive I will let loose with something that is sure to shut the other person up.

That needs to change.

The Savior doesn’t handle situations like that and neither should I.

I can’t remember where I heard it – but someone said that “sarcasm has no place in a marriage relationship“.

I can see the merit of the statement and hopefully can learn to control my tongue a little bit better.

? How did you learn to cope with bullies growing up?








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