building confidence one trial at a time.

5 04 2011

Are you confident in yourself?

Is it because you were given 5 gold stars by your 2nd grade teacher and because someone told you that you were special?
Is it because you have faced adversity head on and somehow came out the other side?
Maybe you’re just naturally confident?

People call my generation the “entitled” generation. They think we walk around believing we should have everything we want and that we feel we deserve it.
Fair enough.
But this is a direct result of the manner society raised us. We were told we were special. Participation trophies were handed out. Gold stars were given to every kid. We are all special.

Too bad none of this is true.
I recently posted something on the MMB web site called, “Life Lessons Learned from Breakdancing“.
No one is entitled to anything.

Confidence doesn’t come from gold stars, participation trophies and “atta boys” handed out like candy on Halloween.

I hear countless kids say “I can’t” or “this is too hard”.
And some kids look absolutely shocked when I tell them they are doing something completely wrong. If it’s wrong, it’s wrong. No free gold stars.

I owe the confidence I have in myself to the trials, challenges, difficulties I have met and survived.
Breakdancing is hard, it’s hard to fall, bleed, bruise and ache over and over again. But when I get the move eventually, my confidence sky-rockets.

My mission?
One of the hardest things I’ve ever done. When I finished that, I felt like I could do anything.

Trials and challenges build confidence.
It sucks going through it at the time…. but man, it feels good on the other end.

And just in case you’re struggling to find confidence builders – here is the ultimate confidence builder…
“Ye are the children of the Lord your God…” (Deuteronomy 14:1)
You are a child of God. That is worth more than any amount of gold stars or participation trophies.

? Where does your confidence come from?


comfort zone.

24 07 2010

I have a friend named Clayton.

Most people know him as C-Bass. C-Bass (anyone remember Dumb and Dumber?)

Anyways, he put up a video on his Facebook today talking about fear:

In the context of the church we are told that fear exists when faith is not present.

The question is how do you develop the faith necessary to remove fear?


“…but if ye are prepared ye shall not fear.” (D&C 38:30)

In the church it is all about reading your scriptures, saying your prayers, attending your meetings (and staying awake during them). It’s the small “sunday school” answers that ultimately provide the faith that will cast out the fear.

The same is true in other aspects of life.

If anybody could pull off teaching a last minute hip-hop class it’s C-Bass.
The fear was only there because the preparation wasn’t.

The idea of doing something you’re afraid of daily sounds draining… oh man.

But think about the times you grow the most. It’s typically when you are thrown outside your comfort zone.
Fear usually arises any time we leave our comfort zone.

BUT – every time we leave our comfort zone we gain a little more confidence.
If you were to leave your comfort zone daily for a year you would have an unstoppable level of confidence and will have probably done things you never thought you were capable of… (ooohh, this sounds like an idea for another blog!)

I was petrified of serving a mission for a variety of reasons.
When I got back I remember clearly think ing I could do anything.

I still look back and draw strength from that experience.

Each time you leave your comfort zone you grow stronger.

I love C-Bass’s idea of tackling a fear on a regular basis. Overcoming fears and leaving our comfort zone build strength and character.

? When was the last time you left your comfort zone?

too much respect.

17 06 2010

The World Cup has been pretty slow through the first round of games. There were a lot of draws – and the big names didn’t perform as well as I would have liked to see. Even the underdogs didn’t show much spark as a whole.

Most of the teams seem to use the first game in their group to ease into the tournament. They are feeling things out and not taking too many risks.

I understand the logic behind the cautious start – BUT I wouldn’t play it that way.

This is the biggest tournament in national soccer. It only happens once every 4 years. You have 1 chance every 4 years to prove yourself. This is not the time to sit back and play cautious.

Too many people games to not lose – as opposed to seeking the win.

As I was watching the Nigeria/Greece game this morning the announcer said something interesting. He was complimenting Nigeria on the aggressive nature of their play and then said, “it’s too bad they weren’t more aggressive last week against Argentina. It seems like they just showed too much respect to the Argentines.”

Too much respect?

I agree.

Argentina is a respected soccer nation with a lot of clout in the soccer culture – Nigeria approached the Argentines with that thought at the front of their minds.

Today, against Greece, they stood tall. They were confident. They appeared to believe THEY were the best team on the pitch.


Nigeria lost 1-0 to Argentina. (Argentina didn’t exactly play well – and the Nigerian keeper was great) I wonder if the result would have been different if Nigeria had just stood a little taller and believed they were the best team on the pitch.

Being humble is good. Recognizing the talents of others is wonderful. Congratulating others on their accomplishments is great.

BUT when you step out onto the pitch, whether in soccer or in life – you need to believe you are the best team out there.

If you are out there more concerned with not losing than you are with winning you will end up like Nigeria. The team you respected (too much) will walk away with the victory (and not necessarily because they are better).

Show respect, and stand tall believing in yourself.

You can be the BEST.

It reminds me of the Houston Rockets in the ’94 – ’95 seasons. They were not the the greatest team to take the court – but they believed in themselves.
Their coach, Rudy Tomjanovich, said, “Never underestimate the heart of a champion.”

’94 and ’95 were CHAMPIONSHIP seasons for the Rockets. (Although it helps that Jordan was retired both of those years – haha)

I think this whole post is probably just for me. I’ve been thinking all day about it. It hit me this morning during the game and I think I sometimes try to not lose instead of taking what I want… the WIN.

“If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him that believeth…” (Mark 9:23)

? Do you go for the win or try to avoid the loss?

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