it happened.

2 12 2010

Missionaries come home with some of the craziest stories.
My favorites are usually the “I crapped my pants” stories.

Pretty much every elder who serves in South America has one of those…. But this isn’t something reserved for just the foreign missionaries.

My brother served in Nebraska and he’s got some good stories.

I never had that problem on my mission. The worst thing that happened to me was food poisoning. (I threw up right in front of a little girl and her mom.) I always wondered how anyone could ever be in a situation where they simply couldn’t make it to the bathroom.

I no longer wonder.

I must have eaten something bad (no, it wasn’t Leah’s cooking). It was a reheated burrito from awhile ago.

Well, let’s just say it didn’t sit so well. In fact I had a close call just sitting here on the couch.

Then I left to go judge a bboy competition.
Right as I pulled up to the venue….

Boom.
It was simply beyond control.

“and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency…” (1 Corinthians 7:5)

I turned the car around – headed back home.
But then came the awkward struggle to decide how to handle the cleanup. A variety of thoughts came to mind, but I finally decided on:

taking my shoes off and rolling my pants up like capris to help avoid any spillage.
So, I trudged through the snow in socks and capris and opened the door and headed straight to the shower.

Anyways, I made it back to the jam…. still feeling not so good, but able to judge. It was a fun night with some good battles – but the craziest battle of the night was the one I had with my bowels…

I lost.
Obviously.

Maybe next time I should try these.

? Any good stories out there?

 

 

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2 responses

3 12 2010
Anthony Ambriz

All I have to say is…”That’s hip hop!”

Also a lot of other bboys that night canceled so I’m glad you didn’t because it would have been heartbreaking, but also hope you’re feeling better.

So do you just want a pooping story? I have one.

When I was in 4th grade I was walking home from school. A quarter of the way I start to feel some pressure so I try and make it to the nearest fast food joint which was about 2 blocks away. I make it into a Burger King bathroom ready for action….. but there is only one stall and someone is in it. So I sort of dance around (more like this swaying motion to fight off the rodents) and I look at my watch. I knock on the door and the person claims he is almost done. 10 minutes later he gets out and I run in and Kablamo! All over the toilet seat in my undies…. I shamefully remove them and clean up as I try not to throw up. I throw my underwear away and pull up my shorts and go commando. I open the door and in walks another guy and he just looks at the mess and looks at me…. all I can see was I couldn’t hold it and I run all the way home!

It was a sad day… So how did you clean up your clothes?

3 12 2010
Kory

bahaha. awesome. you are correct i do have tons and tons of poop stories. the best poop stories anyone has ever heard have happened to me haha. i cherish those awesome memories. glad you were able to experience and join the club. but they didnt begin nor end while in nebraska for me haha, its a daily battle with my ridiculous diseased bowels. also–ive been catching up on your blog tonight, you should have shanie cut your hair. it’s free and dont tell her this, but she cut it last month outside and in the dark and it was one of my fav haircuts ive ever gotten. plus i have dry scalp too and could see it everywhere but she never said anything…im getting it cut by her next week before i go home so you should too. its almost 1:30 in the morning and im wide awake. see ya at tucanos tomorrow for our meeting…oh and our free lunch haha!

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