marriage prep.

23 09 2010

I took my singles ward dating/marriage prep class 5 times.
4 of those were with the same teacher. (Sherri, bless your heart – I bet you never thought I’d get married)

Do I feel like taking a marriage class is the best preparation for being married?
No. (Although I really, really enjoyed Sherri’s classes)

The best preparation for marriage?
My mission.

Here are 5 things I learned on my mission that will pay off huge in my marriage (I hope):

5. Study your scriptures with your companion.
Every day you wake up and study the scriptures with your companion. Leah and I have been studying at night – but it’s been wonderful to spend a few minutes reading a chapter in the Book of Mormon. My companion and I were most successful when teaching the gospel when we built a solid foundation in the morning. Elder Holland said that the 2 hour block spent in study would make or break our mission experience. There is something really special about laying that foundation in my marriage so that hopefully someday when we are asked to teach (our future kids) we will be ready.

“But, behold, I say unto you, that you must study it out in your mind…” (D&C 9:8)

4. Keep clear channels of communication with your companion.
Once a week you clear the air.
Do you have a problem?
Do I have a problem?
Let’s throw it on the table, discuss it and be done with it. I think it’s easier with guys to do this. We are typically very willing to articulate what you did wrong and why we don’t like it. If not with our mouths, then with our fists. Hopefully Leah and I can learn to keep open channels of communication so neither of us ever reach a breaking point where things get crazy!

3. Eat what’s on the table.
I have eaten cereal with spiders in it.
I have eaten curry with cat hair in it.
I have a sandwich with dog drool soaking the bread.
I have even eaten a stew filled with the sweat of the poor sister who spent too much time leaning over the pot.
Leah, you can cook anything and I will eat it.

2. Don’t let the word ‘no’ upset you.
After talking with thousands of people who wanted nothing to do with me, the word ‘no’ doesn’t seem so bad anymore. I don’t take it personally, I don’t feel like crying, or pouting, or arguing. As much as I would LOVE to hang up these breakdance posters I have collected over the years from competitions I’ve done, I can accept that at this current time, they will not be lining our walls. I have also learned to accept that I am not allowed to call a bag of SunChips a legitimate meal.

1. End each day with a prayer that includes gratitude.
Fact, bad days happen on the mission. You and your companion disagree, an investigator sends you off, you get beat up, you get your bike stolen, you don’t mail, you get a dear john etc. etc. But when you get down on your knees at night to pray and thank Heavenly Father for your blessings – well it can make even the worst day seem ok. Real life is no different than the mission, there are good and bad days. But even the bad days can be made ok when you end the day with a prayer that includes some gratitude for blessings.

Thank-you 2003-2005 England Birmingham Mission for teaching me some things that will hopefully help me be a better husband…

? What are some things you learned or wish you learned that could benefit your marriage?

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2 responses

23 09 2010
Anthony Ambriz

Like the new layout by the way. Sorry I haven’t been commenting but I still do read each post.

I just had to comment on this class. Marriage Prep and Marriage and Family were always my favorite classes in Sunday School. I now teach Marriage and Family.

I feel the mission did prep me for marriage but I think marriage itself is really where you learn what you need to do in your marriage.

Let me explain. Today you probably made a hundred mistakes and no matter how perfect we think our wife is she probably made a hundred mistakes as well, but we haven’t noticed them just yet. But as time goes on you won’t make those same mistakes and neither will she.

Planning sessions are awesome when you’re married. 2 years of marriage and I feel like I understand somethings but know I have an eternity of things to learn about her and myself.

Here is a Papa Smurf gem I taught to my class this past Sunday.

“Get use to each other rather than constantly try to change each other.”

That little piece came from someone I like to call President Gordon B. Hinckley, you might know him.

So do I get to hang up my breakdance posters? YES! But in my office ha ha.

24 09 2010
kylekealohaaldous

Ooh, I love that gem from Pres. Hinckley! Thanks for sharing!!
Hopefully someday I will have an office to put breakdance posters up in! hahaha

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