frankly forgive.

15 08 2010

First let me apologize for being missing for the past six days. Things have been crazy. I got back into Orem this morning after driving all night. I kept track each day of what my post would be about and found the matching scripture for it, I just never got a chance to write the whole post. So, now there are six fresh posts finally completed!

I am exhausted!!!!
It has been a LONG weekend with VERY little sleep. I slept for a bit this morning when I got in, but then went to church and have been up ever since.

I got a phone call this morning from a friend that was very personal this morning.
She called to apologize for some things that happened between us in the past.

I was VERY touched.
In fact I can’t even express how much it meant to me that this person called to apologize. She is typically very set in her ways and doesn’t do the apology thing very often.

As we talked and I listened, I was overcome with compassion and charity.
I had NO second thoughts about immediately forgiving and forgetting the past.

What is done is done.
It reminds me of the quote from the Prophet Joseph Smith in his letter to W.W. Phelps (a man who turned from friend to BITTER enemy and then later sought forgiveness from the Prophet) Joseph Smith responded to his letter seeking forgiveness with a latter that included this line:

‘Come on, dear brother, since the war is past, for friends at first, are friends again at last.’

I have thought about it all day and have had several things come to my mind.

First, a scripture:

“And it came to pass that I did frankly forgive them all that they had done…” (1 Nephi 17:21)

Second: I think the scripture could easily have another word placed in to replace the word forgive…
Apologize.

We are commanded to frankly forgive. But I feel like it is just as important for us to frankly apologize. The call I received today was a call of frank apology. In turn I apologized for the things on my part I had done wrong. There were frank apologies and frank forgiveness.

That combination could save each of us much pain and suffering. When we are wrong (and even sometimes when we are right) a frank apology makes a world of difference and can be the difference between an uplifting friendship or a bitter parting.

I was reminded today of the importance of forgiveness and seeking forgiveness.

? What suggestions do you have for overcoming the pride and stubbornness that keeps you from frankly apologizing or forgiving?

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2 responses

16 08 2010
Chelle Ethington

YAY!!! You’re back…I have missed you. This is so funny. We were just talking about something similar last night. Facebook is so interesting…it suggests names to you and suddenly a person you have not thought of in years (and had hoped you would never have to think of again) is on your computer screen and you are back in the 9th grade all over again. Maybe this is technology’s way of helping us to ‘frankly forgive’ and just get on with it. But that brings us to another of your posts…Peter Pan – I guess sometimes it is just time to get on with it and grow up. After all, who wants to be in 9th grade again? Being a grown up does have it’s upside, and some really nice bonuses.

16 08 2010
Sarah Lewis

It’s funny you post that as a question..it’s been my biggest struggle since I received my calling a few months ago! I am forced to work with someone I don’t like. He’s a pompous arrogant jerk, and I don’t like him. (Yeah, I’m getting this started on the right foot, huh?) In maybe 6-ish out of the 8-ish conversations we’ve had, I’ve come home in tears and Casey’s been ticked., ready to take action (no one makes his wife cry!) This man is not a kind person to me. He puts me down in public, treats me like a child, disregards my “authority”, will not accept any suggestions, comments, etc., and is very disrespectful to me. That doesn’t fly so well with me. I’m not sure what I did to cause this, and I’m frankly sick of the excuse I’ve been given time after time: “that’s just his personality. He doesn’t realize he’s that way.” I don’t care if that’s just his personality…it’s not nice and it hurts my feelings (I feel 9 again saying that, but it’s true). So, what have I been doing? I’ve prayed for him and myself. We’ve been taught forever to pray for our enemies. I had the scripture (3 Ne 12:44) on my mirror in high school to remind me everyday. Unfortunately, sometimes when I get on my knees to pray about my situation, the song I Pray for You by Jaron and the Long Road to Love pops in my head. I giggle, ask forgiveness and continue on! It has been an extremely hard struggle, but one night after a really bad episode of dealing with him, I turned to the scriptures. It really struck me in Alma 42 starting in verse 29 down to 31. “…let these things trouble you no more…let YOUR sins trouble you…do not endeavor to excuse yourself….let it bring you down to the dust of humility…ye are called of God [to be the YW President]…go thy way[and do your job]…” Basically, stop worrying about other people’s business and worry about myself. It hit me hard. I’ve been forgiving him a little more each time I’m around him (even without an apology) and trying to be a little less sensitive. I need to worry about my YW right now. They’re struggling. “Forget yourself and go to work”, right?

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