the game.

18 06 2010

Last night was practice night. Terry hurt his back so we couldn’t use his studio in West Valley. Instead, it was just Johnny Ahn and I – and we met up at the Gold’s Gym here in orem.

Johnny mentioned he started watching this series of dating videos done by David Deangelo called “Double your Dating.”

That led to a long conversation about dating. Several years ago when I was out managing a sales office in Las Vegas a few of us picked up a couple books about dating. One of them was called, “The Game.”

The book consists of one mans journey through a society of pick-up artists. He shares stories of his exploits as well as advice on how to generate similar results in your own life.

We read the book, applied the principles and had a very successful semester when we got back to BYU in the fall.

One of the most interesting things the book mentions is that girls are not initially attracted to the “nice guy“.

Nice guy
Opens doors
Takes out on dates
Is overly polite
Frequently compliments
Appears very interested
Tries to qualify himself to the girl

Instead – many girls are attracted to the “bad guy”.

Bad guy
Invites the girl over to his place
Offers backhanded compliments
Appears indifferent
Makes the girl qualify herself to him

Feel free to agree or disagree with this till you are blue in the face. You might not be the typical girl. But the fact of the matter is that this worked like gangbusters for us. (And saved us all a TON of money-since we weren’t going on dates)

Not every girl is like this, I know. But EVEN here at BYU it seems like a huge number of girls are.

Here is the key though – knowing this puts you in a position to manipulate, so you need to approach dating with the right mindset. If you know what initially attracts girls then you need to use that only because you are in the pursuit of finding someone to marry. (Not to just hook up with lots of girls)

And the other thing to remember is that girls want the nice guy once in the relationship. So the real key is to be able to pull off both images…

Initially you appear indifferent as to whether you’re interested in her. You don’t pay her too much attention and when you talk, you make her feel like she has to qualify herself to you. Once you’ve established that initial attraction you can begin to slowly bring out the nice guy (because that’s what she ultimately wants anyways – just not from the beginning)

It was really fun talking with Johnny about me and the guys’ experiences with the whole dating thing. And it was interesting comparing these techniques against what you learn about dating in the Church. They don’t exactly mesh well. So, maybe the way we all approached dating for awhile wasn’t the best way.

Who knows?

“…learned in all the arts and cunning of the people; and this was to enable them that they might be skilful in their profession.” (Alma 10:15)

? What do you think about the initial approach to dating?




One response

21 06 2010

all of this is so true!

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