16 05 2010

“A most damaging form of humor is sarcasm, or cutting, hostile, or contemptuous remarks.” (Peter B. Rawlins, “A Serious Look at Humor,” New Era, Aug 1974, 48)

“cease from all … light speeches, from all laughter … and light-mindedness…” (D&C 88:121)

I have never really been a fighter. Ever.
In fact the only time I have been punched happened a few months ago and came from my younger sister. (she clocked me pretty good in the face)

I have a quick tongue though. Mostly it is used for good – but there are times I have been caught up in comments I am ashamed of.

Middle school was a battlefield at times for me. I was small (like really small) – it’s middle school and pretty much anyone who does not look normal is preyed upon. (Circle of life, right?) Well, it was in middle school that I began to develop my quick ‘wit’ (if it can be called wit).

I learned quickly. I learned that if you spoke the right words you could alter any situation. I never needed to fight because I learned I could do much more damage with words.

I feel bad because I know at times I have used words to pick on others as a defensive mechanism to avoid being picked on and to establish myself as someone to not be picked on. I hurt others because of it. I can’t change what is done, but if I ever said something sarcastic or cutting to you – I am sorry. Incredibly sorry.

It’s been 13 years since I was in middle school and I’m not being picked on anymore.

The guys and I share a very ‘sarcastic‘ form of humor. We constantly tease and rib each other all in good fun. I have only gotten quicker on my feet because of them. I feel like I owe them for helping me become confident enough to handle any social situation I’m placed in.

However – the intense sarcastic humor comes with a price. I have not yet learned fully how to keep my mouth shut at times. And sometimes when I am backed into a corner or feel like I need to be defensive I will let loose with something that is sure to shut the other person up.

That needs to change.

The Savior doesn’t handle situations like that and neither should I.

I can’t remember where I heard it – but someone said that “sarcasm has no place in a marriage relationship“.

I can see the merit of the statement and hopefully can learn to control my tongue a little bit better.

? How did you learn to cope with bullies growing up?




One response

19 05 2010

My problems growing up were that I was way to sensitive and also that I could really speak very well. I would use laughter and jokes, and I relied heavily on my friends to take care of me when I couldn’t. I too got punched in middle school and I also got spit on, jut dumb kids I guess. it wasn’t until high school, senior year, that I almost got into a fight with some guy, I should have walked away, because I didn’t he messed with me all year, we never even threw one punch, and I was “defending a friend” in the first place, well I have never been the same with that friend and I got messed with the rest of the year, since then I have never even come close to a fight. I watch myself very close and make sure that I keep myself in check.

If I am in check I think I can control just about any situation that comes my way.

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